My Chemically Abused Doll

An angel sweeter than the skies above
This is an ode to the one i give my heart and soul

Ive wasted you away
Break free, free from my ever seeking grasp
I apologise my beauty
for being the lowly self loathing creature I am

Torment
clutching at the corners of my mind
to be lovers, to be sinners
in this perfect paralysis of passion

Her stark naked form against me
to stroke her hair in that mussed style
to kiss her lips in that pout
to hold her by the hips the way she likes
to kiss her colar bone
to hold her and tell her i love her
to not let go

My angel, my darling vision of perfection
draped in the garments you love
I cant take this being distanced from you
please dont leave

The old story

So here I am
A 17 year old vegan kid with too many addictions
Sitting on my bed, surrounded by brick walls and neighbours that are too loud, the sound is deafening, my mind cant think, my body cant function
I look around
red bull in my hand, rockstar in my bin, coffee on my desk
and scalpels in the box i hide
money applications cover my desk, scolarships and centrelink
textbooks cover my floor, assignment sheets and lab reports
too much
I look down
ripped jeans, old shirt, bandana
an apology engraved 'Im Sorry'

this is why you hate me
this is why you leave me
Your my angel and you abandon me
I look up and see the photo of you, its from the day i realised your beauty
lyrics come push their way forward
this happens all the time, you never leave my mind

Terror siezes me as I think that you are perfectly fine